Happiness

As I was washing up from dinner, I realized how happy I was. Several choices have contributed to this. I recently quit my life-draining part time job. We made a conscious effort to say no to extra things over Christmas. We've cut way down on out of house days and nights. I've put a lot more care and thought into the house, meals, and loving my family with actions, not just words. Dinner tonight was superb (I'm not bragging, just stating a fact). : ) The kitchen was clean except the antique platter that was my grandmother's I was hand washing. So I started thinking about how happy I was, and I wondered if my mom has ever been happy in this way.

She has had a hard marriage road. My memories of childhood are mainly of her providing everything I wanted or needed. I don't remember her ever yelling at me or even raising her voice. She got up after oral surgery to fix our dinner.

But was she truly happy? I don't know, I hope so. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized my happiness( or should I say joy) should not be based on external circumstances. Yes things are good right now. But even when things are not this peaceful I can have joy. Because my joy is founded in Christ and what he has done for me. And my mom has this joy also. So, tonight is good, joyful, happy. And I pray my mom, who is in a difficult situation right now can remember where her joy lies.

Christmas memories

Making syrup with Sister on a COLD Sunday morning using her recipe from co-op cooking class.

Unbelievably sweet memory.

Today's agenda

This morning the whole family will head into Houston together. We'll drop Jim off at work and then go across the street to the Sister's Dr.'s appointment. It's her routine 3 month appointment. I have several questions this time:about the nighttime bed wetting, about the way she is looking like a young woman, not a nine year old, about her height or lack of. She will also need blood drawn and that will be a nightmare. It usually takes two additional people and lots of screaming.

The Best Intentions

So I have cabin fever I guess. Which does not bode well for my new focus of staying at home more to a) reconnect with my kids b) clean my house. I tried to trick myself into cleaning for 2 hours then a quick trip somewhere. That's hard to do when you have no money too.

First focused two hours I had my Bible time, talked with the kids, fixed a big breakfast. Then I ran to Kroger for 3 needed items.

Second focused time I straightened the garage, talked on the phone, played with facebook, cooked lunch, started laundry. Then I ran to the fire station to get my city email straightened out.

Now it's time for my next focus. I guess. JJ has a group learning thing at 3:30. I'm supposed to stay and chat with the other moms. Then I'll have to pick up Hubby at Park and Ride. We have lots of choices for evening parties, but I think we'll end up staying home.

I did have a scathingly brilliant idea about Quiet Time notebooks for the kids as part of their Christmas presents. I'll share more on that tomorrow.

Ok, procrastination time is over. Back to work.

further up and further in

I'm sitting in my grandmother's squatty chair that is covered with a quilt made by my mother in law in front of my oven smelling biscuits warmed by a space heater getting ready to have my quiet time. This is the perfect setting for me to lay my heart and my day before the ever living God.

Today will have many opportunities for humbling myself before God and walking with Him and getting to know Him. Last week several of my Bible reading passages told me to 'get to know God'. So that's what I'm focusing on.

Opportunities I already know about

• we will find out how much it will cost to get our main vehicle fixed
• Hubby's shoulder is causing him a lot of pain still and that makes him not the most pleasant person to be around
• the kids are in holiday mode and it's a battle to get them started on the one subject they have to do this week - math
• they both need haircuts and they both HATE haircuts
• I ran 20 miles Saturday, 4 miles on Sunday plus fire department workout, then ran 4 miles today (and got up each day at 4:45 to do it) so I am pretty tired

I'm jokingly calling the opportunities. In fact they are very real temptations for me to sin. To respond in anger, to be selfish, to be arrogant, to worry, to fret, to put myself before others. But by calling them opportunities, I'm trying to remind myself that I have the chance for victory in these situations. Not just survival, but victory. By clinging to God, seeking His strength my choices today can bring me closer to HIm, to knowing Hm, to pleasing Him, to abiding in Him.

So as I sit at Jesus feet and lay these opportunities before Him and well as the ones I don't know about yet, I am filled with Hope, Peace, and Joy.

Today is going to be a great day, because this day is the Lord's and all it contains.

******Update**********

After writing this and having my quiet time I promptly fell asleep in the chair. Hopefully that was a head start on the tire part.

********Second update******

Maybe not, since I mean TIRED part.

A Christmas Story

I went on a fire call from about 1:30 am to 2:20 am this morning. Once home, I had a hard time falling asleep because I kept thinking about the movie Carriers I watched before bed. That's another post, but let's say I liked the movie, being a fan of the genre.

Anyway, I got up at 5 am to run 20 miles. I'm an idiot I know. Anyway, I did it. I did not enjoy the last 4 miles, but shuffled through.

Anyway anyway, a had seen a sign in our neighborhood - Santa in the Park, Parade 10am Saturday. Sister has been wanting to see Santa and this seemed like an easy, cheap way to do that. So the whole fam, T-bone included, headed to the park a little before 10.

One lone guy was there. He assured us Santa was coming, but no parade since the whole parade was the kids who wanted to walk in it. Hmm. About 5 or 6 kids gathered round waiting for Santa. T-Bone growled and almost bit one little kid. He's acting like such a pill. When Santa did arrive he went straight to Tbone. Hubby and I were praying "Please don't bite Santa, please don't bite Santa." He didn't, whew.

As Santa pulled out a plastic green lawn chair, sat in the middle of the pavilion and kids went and sat in his lap I realized this was a really strange tradition. But still I let my daughter do it. And it was easy and cheap. Although I did feel a little easy and cheap afterwards.

So I 'bonked'. Didn't listen to my body. Thought I was superwoman, I guess. I don't know. Why couldn't I do it? It was on the training plan so obviously someone thinks it's reasonable??

On my plan today I was to run 6 miles. 1 slow, 4 brisk, 1 slow. Since it is freezing today, I waited until 11 am to run. Lacing up my shoes I noticed I was a little hungry, but no biggie. The first mile my legs felt like lead. Second mile I picked up the pace and felt OK. Third mile, no way. I just stopped. Walked. I knew I couldn't do it.

FINALLY made it home. In 33 minutes. Hmm, think I was going too fast? Came in, ate a relatively big lunch, took a hot bath, and went out for the last three. Finished the total run in 1:05. About 11 minute miles average, not counting the hour lunch and bath.

I feel Ok. Now it's 2:30 and I'm kind of hungry, but don't really want to eat because I don't feel like I ran the required amount so there's no reason for a snack. Supposed to do strength training today, but there is no way.

How am I going to run 20 miles on Sat?????

FYI, I ran a half/marathon PR on Sat., ran 5 on Sunday, ran 4 on Monday, ran 5 fast on Tuesday, and ran 6 medium yesterday. Also went on a fire call yesterday which required climbing stairs in full gear.

But still!!!

No route 44 diet coke today. That's probably the whole problem right there. : )